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>>I just spoke to a very wise woman last night who said that she has finally been able to resign herself to the fact that laundry is just a cycle. Clean clothes in the closet, on the floor, on your body, in the wash, in a hamper, in a pile, on the closet floor, whatever... just as long as the cycle continues it doesn't really matter. I'm not sure if that helps or frustrates, but I thought I would pass it on.<< Now I came to that conclusion a few years ago -- Branch out and apply it to lots more -- dishes, grocery shopping, cooking, tidying up the house.... This is where I picked up some damaging (imo) lessons from my mother. Work was Done when the house was completely clean, refrigerator stocked with food (many dishes prepared ahead for the week), all laundry cleaned, ironed and put away. Woe to the family when crumbs fell, a sock was found under the bed (unwashed), or she found out she forgot to pick up something at the store. This was on Saturday -- the Day when all the chores were done. It was very important that we keep the house perfect until at least Monday afternoon. She worked fulltime at a job, we were latchkey children. All during the week she would agonize over the fact that her housework was being undone by us kids (wearing clothes, eating food, tracking in dirt). Now I'm nowhere near practicing that behavior, but I picked up the idea that laundry has to be "finished" and it's a Major Problem if I forget something at the grocery store and have to make another trip. I'm always operating under mental pressure that my housework is nowhere near the standards I grew up with. Especially since I'm a stay at home mom!! So, to realize that laundry is an ongoing cycle and that some clothes are ALWAYS in the process of becoming "unclean" and that this is *ok* was a real eye-opening experience for me! Seems like a little minor trivial event, but realizing this and expanding the idea into other conflicts about housekeeping shifted my paradigm. If one hasn't struggled with perfectionism, this whole idea may sound so silly, I know. Feel free to roll your eyeballs and click on the next button!! But my struggles in this area are a major reason for our heading in the unschooling direction. My first year of homeschooling my oldest, this is what I did: Structured school-at-home curriculum for all subjects AND my own made up unit studies. I wanted to cover all bases. Then I'd hear about the living books method and nature journals and I'd add that to the daily lesson plans. I bought one of those big fat daily life planner binders and if you haven't seen those things -- well, it's either a perfectionist's dream come true or a nightmare. For me it was a nightmare. My husband finally chucked it in the trash out of concern for my state of mind. Now I know that swinging in the other direction can be a problem. Believe me I know and worry over whether I'm producing feral children. But I take deep breaths, write in my daily journal what we're all busy doing, and continue praying for wisdom and help in discerning priorities. Each day I realize that my daily life with my children is a hugely important Spiritual Walk. And yet I don't have to feel intimidated or frightened by the awesome implications -- because He illumines each step of the way. Karen (Laslzm@aol.com) |